


To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

by ImpalaGirl42



Series: A Stark Perspective on Life [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Gen, Happy Hogan Deserves a Raise, M/M, Minor Happy Hogan/Pepper Potts, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22149589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpalaGirl42/pseuds/ImpalaGirl42
Summary: Happy just wants to get some sleep next to his new wife. He was having a good dream of a vacation with Pepper, which is itself a dream, but he'll take what he can get.Tony has other plans.Pepper wonders why they work for an insane man. Happy thinks they were probably cursed.(Happy centric)
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan/Pepper Potts
Series: A Stark Perspective on Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594273
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This plot bunny hopped into my head last night when I realized that Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey must have thousands of stories where they do crazy things because Tony asked them to or have seen crazy things because they walk in on Tony doing it.

The beach was softly lit by the full moon and gentle waves lapped at the couples feet as they walked down the beach hand in hand. A shooting star streaked across the sky and Pepper turned to him, her eyes soft and full of love. He leaned down and brushed his lips gently across hers, she sighed softly and screamed " _You're toxic, I'm slippin' under, With a taste of a poison paradise_ " at the top of her lungs.

Happy jerked awake as he realized that his phone was ringing. Even if he didn't know that ring tone there is only one person in the world who would call him in the middle of spending time with his new wife. 

Anthony _Fucking_ Stark

That stupid ring tone was 100% Stark being "funny". No matter how many times Happy changed it to something a little less ridiculous the phone always reset itself to that. If Happy ever met Britney Spears he was going to have to refrain from giving in to the temptation to punch her in the nose. Gently of course. Britney is a lady after all. 

Pepper untangled herself from him and rolled over, groaning as she put her pillow over her head. The lamp beside the bed cast a warm white glow over the bedside table after Happy flicked it on so he could find his damn phone. His latest spy thriller and glasses tumbled to the floor in the search, Britney singing of her toxic love for Happy the whole time, revealing his black Stark phone flashing with Tony's face on it.

"Yeah boss," Happy sighed into the phone, his eyes on Pepper as she slipped out of bed, wrapping her robe around herself, and heading out to the kitchen to start the coffee maker.

"Hap! Good, you're awake."

Happy yawned, rubbing his face, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be awake at," he paused to look at the time, "three seventeen in the morning on a Tuesday?"

The sounds of clanking came faintly through the phone as Tony said trying to be stern, "Is that sass? You know how I feel about sass before ten thirty am."

"No sir. I'd never dream of sassing you. Especially not before ten thirty am." 

The bedroom door creaked softly when Pepper walked back into the bedroom. Happy felt rather than saw her slip back into bed, robe still wrapped around her body and pillow firmly over her head.

"Liar. Listen I need a few things from the store. I'd go myself, but I've kinda got a suitation here. I need a shovel, plastic sheeting, an axe, a couple big bundles of rope, and duct tape. Oh and caramels. Don't forget the caramels."

 _This is going to end well_ , Happy thought, _I'll be lucky to not get arrested._

"Sure thing boss. Are you at the tower?" 

"What? No. Why would I need a shovel at the tower?" 

"I don't know sir, it's very early." 

"Whatever. I'm at the park. You know the spot, over by the oak trees?" 

Happy _didn’t_ know the spot. There were a _lot_ of oak trees in the park, but he knew this was the most information he was going to get out of his boss,  
"Sure. Be there as soon as I can." 

"Don't keep me waiting." 

The carrier beeps were the only sign that the phone call had been disconnected, but Happy had already laid the phone on the bedside table and thrown his covers back. 

He was buttoning his dress shirt when he heard the bed sheets rustle as Pepper sat back up, "What's he got you doing now." 

"Best I can tell, burying a body." 

"It was only a matter of time. I bet he dragged Bruce into whatever this is too." The rustling sheets told Happy that Pepper had laid back down. 

"Why do we work for an insane genius," she mumbled from under the comforter. 

"We were cursed in a former life." 

"I'm sure that's it." 

The drive to the 24-hour hardware store wasn't too bad. Even at three thirty am there was still quite a bit of traffic on the roads but compared to mid-day it was as nothing. Now caffeinated Happy wandered through the shelves looking for the last item on Tony's list: caramels. 

He quite literally ran into an employee as he rounded a blind corner. The poor little guy stumbled back into a display of 3-in-1 oil which tumbled to the floor in a quite impressive crash. Several of the nozzles on the bottles broke, oil oozing out onto the shiny concrete floor. 

"Watch it mister", the employee, "Jack" according to his name tag, yelled. 

"I apologize. I didn't see you." 

Jack snorted at Happy's attempt to mollify him. When he saw the mess that the oil bottles were making on his previously clean floor he threw up his hands in frustration before whirling on Happy, an accusing finger poking him right in the sternum. 

"You're paying for the damage, dude." 

Shrugging, Happy attempted to move forward with his list. He knew Tony wouldn't cry over a few bottles of spilled oil. He just wanted to go home and get back in bed. Although with the coffee he knew he probably wasn't going to sleep, but there was a Pepper to hold while she slept. 

"Do you have caramels?" 

Jack finally looked at the assortment of items Happy was carrying and his eyes grew wide. He obviously assumed the same thing Happy had assumed, but Happy couldn't very well tell him he wasn't the one who was probably burying a body tonight. 

"Uh, yeah. By the register", Jack quietly said. 

Happy smiled at the young man. From the look on Jack's face the smile didn't do anything to relieve his suspicions about the bigger man. Sighing, Happy said, "Great. I'm ready then." 

Five minutes away from the park Happy saw red and blue lights flashing in his rear view mirror. As he thought he would, Jack had called the police. Pulling the car over, Happy got out his license and registration and waited for the officers. 

Because he didn't have a good reason for why he was buying these items at four am the officers decided to take him downtown for further questioning. They also called someone to go find Tony. 

Just as they were putting Happy in the patrol car Britney started singing again from his pocket. He let out a loud huff and looked at the officer who was closing the door. 

"Excuse me. That's Mr, Stark now. I don't mean any disrespect, but I suggest you answer the phone. He'll just force the phone to answer itself and listen to what it can pick up." 

The officer's mouth fell open in surprise, "He can do that?" 

"Yes ma'am. Please understand that I'm not trying to threaten you; but if he doesn't like what he hears on the other side, such as silence, he will probably burst into the station in his suit. I'd like to avoid the paperwork that would cause. For my wife's sake." 

The officer grimaced and dug the phone out of Happy's jacket pocket. Before she could accept the call Tony's voice ran out loud and clear through the night. 

"Hogan, I told you not to keep me waiting. I can't bury Alfred without a shovel you know." 

Happy hit his head on the back of the front seat of the police car and groaned quietly. So much for cuddling Pepper. His best hope was getting out sometime tomorrow. 

"Sir, are you Tony Stark?" 

"Who are you and why do you have Happy's phone", the sound of servos whirling into place as the suit formed around Tony could clearly be heard over the small speaker. 

"I'm Officer Smith with the NYPD sir. Are you Tony Stark?" 

"Happy got arrested? Did he forget the caramels? Of course he did." 

"Who's Alfred?" 

"He's an excavating robot. I'm trying to see how quickly he can get out of a hole." 

"A _robot_ ", Happy yelled before he could stop himself, "I got _arrested_ because you wanted to bury a goddamn _excavating robot_ in the park?" 

"Sir, you need to calm down-"  
"Happy, it's not like that-", Officer Smith and Tony said at the same time. 

"Yep. Definitely cursed." 


End file.
